Imperfect

Blog #4

Yes, mistakes happen. But they don’t happen to ME. I’m careful. AND methodical!

I’ve been skipping along (bluebirds chirping) getting it all done: ad refinement, getting reviews, TikTok videos, writing book two—oh, and a day job. A continuous stream of improvement and productivity (my picture is right there in the dictionary). 

Then one sunny afternoon while I was making incremental improvements to my backmatter, it happened. The trade paperback and the hardcover were open to the same chapter number…and the chapter titles DID NOT MATCH. 

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeek!!!!!

Clouds blotted out the sun. Thunder cracked. The theme from Psycho screeched from invisible speakers. The camera zooms in on my ghost-white face as all the possible implications of this unfolded in my quaking brain: every version of my book was broken, it would be impossible to find out what went wrong, and even more impossible to fix. 

I was alone and my writing career sunk when it had hardly begun. (Cue the violins as the camera zooms out and I’m trembling under my own personal storm cloud.)

Thank god for therapy tools. Diaphragmatic breathing. Stepping back from the computer (rather than throwing it across the room—that was the real win of the day). Giving myself a minute. Coming up with a plan before I did anything. Weirdly, as I went to write down my plan, my hand scraped across my trackpad and I accidentally dragged and dropped a chapter to a new place in my Vellum document. WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL? It seamlessly renumbered my table of contents and the chapter title (so helpful!). No permissions asked! 

Before I’d even begun my forensic work, I had the answer to how did this happen? And was this drag-and-drop faux pas really an accident? Or was it supernatural intervention? You decide. But I know what I think.

Anyway, I went back to the clean Word doc I received from my editor—it became my bible. I took a paperback proof, checked the chapters. Huzzah! They matched (it’s the little things, isn’t it?). That became my source of truth. I checked the hardcover. Chapter 26 had gotten dumped all the way down at 39. Big fat farty ugh. But fixable! I made a color-coded legend and checked every printed version, ePub and Vellum file. It was only the hardcover. Shwoo! 

After one sleepless night, a few hours of kicking myself (yes, while I was down), it was technically solved. New files uploaded to IngramSpark.

But I was left with a stack of beautiful but broken hardcovers. I could throw them away or burn them (the twinkle comes into my eye) or…

I’ve made a little instruction guide on how to read the book (maybe it’ll be a thing that catches on?) and placed them lovingly in Little Free Libraries around the city. Each is tagged with a QR code—maybe I’ll find out if these poor puppies have gone to good homes?

As for the distribution channels—who’s got what in stock, what will become of the bad stock—well that will be another episode of How the Book Turns—once I get it all figured out. 

But for now, I’ve done what I could, I’ve offered myself some grace (callback to CIVIL. Maybe life does imitate art?), and I’m planning for the best—knowing I’ll have to deal with whatever arises. Onward ho!

I’d love for you to come on this hilly journey with me. Maybe share a story about a hill or two that you’ve climbed. And if you’re here because you adopted one of these sad editions, drop me a note (okay, fill out the stupid contact form) and let me know.

Until then, when life gives you defective books, write an instruction guide and keep moving forward.